Have the B~~~~ to Give a Cheap Gift

by Tom Leykis

Tom Leykis discards the idea of gift-giving being about outdoing yourself, or that giving should come from a sense of obligation. You girlfriend or wife may be expecting diamond earrings, but this is a danger zone, because if giving her anything else is considered a “disappointment”, then no gift at all (or a cheap gift like a CD) is probably a better idea.

In terms of integers, establishing an expectation of diamond earrings automatically means anything less places you in the negative (-1) in her eyes. Giving a gift must only be regarded as a +1. If diamond earrings are already expected, then actually giving them places you at 0 (zero). When NOT giving the expected gift places you in a negative situation, she should receive no gift at all.

JCPenny® launched an entire ad campaign entitled “beware of the doghouse” where men are berated and punished by their entitled wives for giving useful gifts. Regardless of cost, the campaign promoted the idea that computer RAM or a gym membership is “totally unacceptable” and endorses actual confinement to the basement – or doghouse – where men are now required to apologize. It’s time women learned there will be no apology for giving any kind of gift, and it’s up to Men to establish new parameters. Anything you stand in line to buy for someone is an acceptable gift. The idea that a man must apologize to his own wife for giving her anything at all is preposterous.