by Tom Leykis
Tom Leykis enforces the standard of “no male friends”.
Men generally have a world of options. Since men are generally expected to do the initiating, approaching, the asking out, the calling, the proposing, the date-arranging (and women more often expect this)… it follows that odds of finding a suitable mate, girlfriend or wife will increase the more he dials it up. Conversely, women are less active initiators of conversation and dating and are therefore limit themselves to the pool of men who FEEL LIKE showing interest. Men seek available women. Women make themselves available – or not.
Over-simplified, this makes men “choosers” as opposed to women who more often look to “be chosen”.
It’s true that women choose too, however, they choose from the pool of men who first make an effort to pursue her. It is therefore in her best interest to widen this pool of “choices” as far as she can. In doing so, rather than narrowing her choices down to one man in particular too soon, she will often look to keep men “waiting in the wings” in case it doesn’t work out with her current interest. She may even keep ex boyfriends around – just in case – so she will continue to flirt, flip her hair, and bat her lashes at men who she has no immediate interest in for possible future use.
Being aware of all of this is why it is not in a man’s best interest to permit her to have lunch with other “male friends”. There is no such thing as a “male friend”. To woman , there are only two kinds of men in the world: those she is having sex with right now, and those she is NOT having sex with right now.
Lunch with her male friend …. is never just lunch with her male friend.