2nd guessing

Topic by MGTOW@50

MGTOW@50

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This topic contains 19 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by Turquoise Turtle  Turquoise Turtle 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #603119
    +9
    MGTOW@50
    MGTOW@50
    Participant
    234

    Initiating something as decisive and painful as a divorce is really screwing with my head. Intellectually and logically I know this is the correct course of action. Somewhere in my mind over the weekend I began 2nd guessing myself, trying to make counter-justifications, remembering better times.

    I have an internal battle going on. I’ve kept it to myself (not discussed with wife). It’s like mangina on one shoulder whispering in my ear, “this is just a rough spot, you’ll get through it”.

    Then the MGTOW on the other shouting, “get the f~~~ out now”.

    #603120
    +7
    MGTOW@50
    MGTOW@50
    Participant
    234

    I keep thinking about:

    – what a pain in the ass it’s going to be to sell the house.

    – Am I sending the right message to my sons?

    damn

    #603124
    +8
    Coolbreeze
    Coolbreeze
    Participant
    452

    That inner voice has always been there to protect you. Listening to it will never steer you wrong even if the whole thing looks and feels like its going to come crashing down around you.
    Your blue pill conditioning will try to justify leading an unhappy life for the sake of others- what kind of message is that for your sons?

    #603125
    +4

    Anonymous
    19

    It’s like mangina on one shoulder whispering in my ear, “this is just a rough spot, you’ll get through it”.

    Then the MGTOW on the other shouting, “get the f~~~ out now”.

    Only you know how much you want freedom and how much you are willing to pay for it.

    Good luck with whichever path you choose.

    #603127
    +8

    Anonymous
    9

    I am about to bail out, sell the house and just disappear, the whole 2nd guessing is the conscience trying to justify the course of action that has been determined to follow.
    It’s not easy and only you can make
    that choice alone.
    “Fortis Fortuna Adivat” Fortune Favours the Brave.

    #603128
    +4
    Mr.Blue
    Mr.Blue
    Participant
    614

    Don’t think what is “right” or “wrong”. As soon as you label it(the divorce) one of those, the answer will come from some sort of conditioning you’ve had in your life.

    Instead, ask yourself. “What is better for me?”

    I’m not sure how old you are but I think it’s safe to assume you have decades of your life left. Even if it was to take you 5 years to recover from the divorce, it would be better than dragging on a marriage that you do not want to be in and divorcing in the future where it will only hurt more, emotionally and financially.

    I also don’t know how your marriage is. You could have a decent one and may be the reason why you are second guessing. It is never easy letting go of someone who has been through life with you for years, especially after being conditioned that marriage means a happily ever after.

    I will tell you this, whichever choice you make, Attack it head on. Don’t even think about a right or wrong choice because that will only make you regret making it in the future when you try to justify why you made the choice to begin with. Write down all the pros and cons of your options and stick to it without looking back.

    If you sit there thinking of scenarios that could happen if you divorce her you are going to think about it for the rest of your life…Stick to NOW, don’t think about “What if I divorce her and this happens”. There are SO MANY outcomes but thinking about them is pointless because that’s not what is actually happening. Our brain wants to find the easiest path and a lot of times it feels easier staying in a relationship we don’t need than starting fresh and going your own way.

    Good luck brother.

    #603130
    +5
    Awakened
    Awakened
    Participant
    36236

    I think it boils down to just how much YOU WANT YOUR FREEDOM.

    In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

    #603131
    +7

    Anonymous
    90

    do you wish to be free?

    i mean free of all the things that ensnare you and bring you down? Years of material possessions will root you in place and you will make decisions based on keeping the things you have versus new opportunities.

    When i was divorced i left home with a blue suit a white dress shirt a white tshirt, a red tie, 2 black socks and a pair of shoes in a suit bag, a small safe with important documents, i was wearing a t shirt, shorts, underwear and sandals. I had an atm card, a driving licence and a school id and $65. oh, and i wear glasses. The police were kind enough to give me 5 minutes to grab a few things.

    Eight weeks later, the court gave me the minivan I had paid for already. I lived in that while I went to school. I gave the c~~~ the hassle and expense of everything we worked for, bought and paid for.

    I have been homeless off and on for the past 8 years. my collection of what i deem important fits in 3 laundry baskets and a duffel bag. I move around a lot, I fail, I pick myself up again and I go at life head on. I am deliberately living below my means and my ability in order to avoid court bulls~~~.

    My way is not necessarily a good way for you. My way is a horrible way. I do not recommend it. I am $300,000 in debt, and back in college working for my last new career.

    I signed away my rights to the house and a quit claim deed in exchange for 1/2 the equity of the house. Let the c~~~ have it. let her choke on it. That was my strategy. Let her figure out how to pay the mortgage and maintain it…lol she had a chad do it for her.

    Without the house I was free to pursue a different course. If I had the house, I would be slaving away in some miserable office hoping I don’t get fired and then default on the house.

    Recently I moved into an apartment and I bought furniture again. But I can leave it all behind in the same five minutes i had when the police removed me from my house in 2009. All the really essential things fit in a bugout bag.

    #603145

    Anonymous
    30

    I have an internal battle going on. I’ve kept it to myself (not discussed with wife). It’s like mangina on one shoulder whispering in my ear, “this is just a rough spot, you’ll get through it”.

    Then the MGTOW on the other shouting, “get the f~~~ out now”.

    Perhaps this will remind you why you need OUT.

    This is Why You Never Marry.

    #603148
    +1
    MGTOW@50
    MGTOW@50
    Participant
    234

    I appreciate the input from ALL of you. I needed to hear those perspectives.

    Please understand I am not looking to create drama (hate that s~~~), toy with this membership of men, or justify going back to my blue-pill life. I’m simply being honest about some of this roller coaster I seem to be riding.

    I/we (my wife) actually made some progress TOWARD getting divorced over the weekend. She agreed to try to make this as painless as possible for ourselves and our respective children. (We’ll see how that pans out). And we actually started getting the basement and garage organized and presentable for putting the house on the market.

    I suppose I’ve been amazed that there has been NO indication from her that she wants anything other than divorce. I think that’s my ego talking there.

    While I’m reminded of my single life with my sons prior to this 5-year marriage, and the things that somehow got sacrificed (like my annual ski trip with my sons), the conditioning I’ve been subject to for 50 years is not shed overnight.

    I am on the right path. I know this. I am looking forward to my freedom and independence.

    Thank you again, all of you. Your words of wisdom are valuable.

    #603221
    +1
    Secret Agent MGTOW
    Secret Agent MGTOW
    Participant
    24568

    Look at the stupid stuff you are putting yourself through because of this relationship. The time you are wasting being anxious, dwelling on this, affecting you while you are doing other things. The mental energy it takes from you. The stress. All of it is voluntary because you stay. All of it is unnecessary.

    You want the rest of your life to be like this? Because it’s going to be like this until you die. And you will die sooner rather than later because of this.

    Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

    #603223
    +1
    Secret Agent MGTOW
    Secret Agent MGTOW
    Participant
    24568

    She totally lied to you about making it painless for both of you.

    I hate to tell you but that is a complete lie.

    Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

    #603249
    +1
    Carnage
    Carnage
    Participant
    22174

    Two choices:

    Run away and survive.

    Or live like a slave and die a miserable death.

    Your call. I ran like a mother f~~~er.

    To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

    #603341
    +1
    MGTOW@50
    MGTOW@50
    Participant
    234

    She totally lied to you about making it painless for both of you.

    I hate to tell you but that is a complete lie.

    Yes, I’m expecting that. They’re all cunning and conniving.

    The process has started. My lawyer is waiting for reply from hers to the 1st round of separation agreement.

    #603370
    +1
    PistolPete
    PistolPete
    Participant
    27165

    What message does it send to your sons?

    You are independent

    You have enough self respect that you will not allow yourself to be treated like s~~~

    Women–even their mother—are toxic and destructive

    Need I go on?

    #603422
    +2
    Oldschool
    Oldschool
    Participant
    2486

    All the really essential things fit in a bugout bag

    Yeah, I saw all of May 7th’s stuff in his car. It was not much but it was his. On the upside our two gun range bags fit nicely in his trunk. I envy you 57.

    Get a vasectomy.

    #603500
    +1
    MGTOW@50
    MGTOW@50
    Participant
    234

    All the really essential things fit in a bugout bag

    Yeah, I saw all of May 7th’s stuff in his car. It was not much but it was his. On the upside our two gun range bags fit nicely in his trunk. I envy you 57.

    I’ve never been so free as when I simply had a backpack, some food & water, and a bounce in my step walking trails.

    I have to admit it’s time to thin out the accumulations. Nothin’ like a divorce to make that happen.

    #603511
    +1
    Monk
    Monk
    Participant
    19972

    Am I sending the right message to my sons?

    Yes.

    #604903
    Sky-☯️
    Sky-☯️
    Participant

    Second guessing:

    Cognitive dissonance

    Take a minute to imagine what she would be capable of if she could burn you at the stake right now with no consequences.

    Really think about it.

    And realize the time to strike is up to you.

    Sun Tzu: Art of War (Chapter 8)
    ‘When on surrounded ground, plot. When on deadly ground, fight.’

    #936084
    +1
    Turquoise Turtle
    Turquoise Turtle
    Participant
    666

    Look at the stupid stuff you are putting yourself through because of this relationship. The time you are wasting being anxious, dwelling on this, affecting you while you are doing other things. The mental energy it takes from you. The stress. All of it is voluntary because you stay. All of it is unnecessary.

    You want the rest of your life to be like this? Because it’s going to be like this until you die. And you will die sooner rather than later because of this.

    Absolutely nailed it Secret Agent Mgtow.

    This is how all relations~~~s end up, nothing but stress and anxiety absorbed by the man for nothing in return but hoping/wishing/praying the selfish solipsistic c~~~ will shut her mouth and be satisfied for once.

    "I'm the last of my guy friends to have never gotten married, and their wives—they don't want them playing with me. I'm like the escaped slave—I bring news of freedom." ~ Bill Maher

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