Couples Counseling: It will reveal the truth

Topic by Spleefer

Spleefer

Home Forums Marriage & Divorce Couples Counseling: It will reveal the truth

This topic contains 14 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by CPT Obvious  CPT Obvious 1 day, 4 hours ago.

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  • #820335
    +23
    Spleefer
    Spleefer
    Participant
    790

    The first time I went to couples counseling was when my wife at the time was unhappy and I thought counseling would help us work it out.
    The counselor (male) was normal, nothing to crazy, gave sound advice, techniques, and hope for us to work it out.
    My ex didn’t use any technique, didn’t read any book, didn’t talk to me, didn’t want to work on anything we talked about in the sessions.
    Looking back, that should have been my notice. She gone, don’t waste any mental energy trying to work on the marriage. Counseling worked. It showed it wasn’t my fault, it was her changing her mind and I wasn’t in the picture.

    Second time I did couples counseling was when I went for pre marriage counseling with my fiancé. First session the counselor (female) caught my fiancé in two half truths that I actually heard or picked up on, thanks to the counselor. Lies about meds and lies about her exes. First session. I started my exit after that first session. But like the fist time I tried the techniques and my fiancé did nothing, didn’t do the book, didn’t read anything,didn’t talk to me about anything of meaning.
    Point is: counseling worked for me. Showed their true nature. Women will claim they “work on the relationship “ , they don’t. They claim they want to “communicate” , they don’t. They want you to follow their orders with no lip from you.
    I recently went to counseling on my own to get out of the PUA lifestyle and go monk. It has worked awesome and has been really helpful for me to break my habits of needing women. Yes counseling works. Just not with women.

    Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

    #820348
    +16
    TaxGuy
    TaxGuy
    Participant

    A little different story, but same conclusion. My ex demanded that we go to a counselor at one point. We went to one meeting. Of course it was all about the things I’m doing wrong. But every time she brought something up I had a logical and caring reason for my actions. It became clear pretty quickly that I wasn’t doing anything “wrong” we just weren’t communicating well enough.

    After the one meeting she said we didn’t need to go back, that everything was fine.

    Six months later she told me she wanted a divorce. If the counselor would have put me through the wringer the ex would have happily kept going back, just to prove a point and to have the upper hand over me. Once she realized it wasn’t going to go that way, she was done.

    She didn’t want to “work on the relationship”, she just wanted to punish me for nothing.

    We all get what we tolerate

    #820354
    +5
    Solid
    Solid
    Participant
    7519

    After the one meeting she said we didn’t need to go back, that everything was fine.

    Also known as “I ran out of things to nag about, now it would be your turn to say something and complain about me, so better if we stop going there”.

    #820357
    +9
    Spleefer
    Spleefer
    Participant
    790

    After the one meeting she said we didn’t need to go back, that everything was fine.

    Also known as “I ran out of things to nag about, now it would be your turn to say something and complain about me, so better if we stop going there”.

    It’s just a punch list for them to check off so they can cry to their girlfriends and paint the perfect picture for the next guy.

    We went to counseling and he wouldn’t work on the marriage.

    Simp – oh ok, I’m not like that guy.

    Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

    #820469
    +8
    Ogre
    Ogre
    Participant
    5679

    I mentioned it once during my long ago Blue Pill days.

    We never went, she never got validation or damnation, and most of all the problems never changed.

    I can live well on half. She can’t even subsist. The youngest is 16 and a half. Guess who is going to be the next one to get a job.

    I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

    #820587
    +8
    Keymaster
    Keymaster
    Keymaster

    couples counseling

    It’s stupid monkey s~~~ and frankly, I don’t believe in it. It’s ALWAYS about emasculating the guy to appease the bitch. ALWAYS. It’s an excuse for some bulls~~~ “relationship expert” to bill someone $200 an hour. And 9/10 times, they are divorced themselves and can’t keep a goddam relationship together.

    If it were up to me …..

    “You need couples counseling? Guess what.You’re with the wrong person. Get her out, or get yourself out. Session is over. And congratulations. I just saved you $200.”

    F~~~ couple’s & marriage counseling.
    It’s 100% pure bulls~~~.

    I know this, because I have had one or three GREAT relationships in the past which ended mostly because of geography, professions or logistics. What made them “great” is that they were EFFORTLESS. One of them was so easy, we barely spoke. I’m serious. Neither of us needed to “try” to make it work™. There was none of that “I need to know where this relationship is going” garbage. That has poisoned the social contract.

    I already know it just doesn’t exist anymore. It was BEFORE the cultural poison of “Sex and the City”, “Friends” and s~~~ like that. THat’s when “couples counseling” started to take off as a profession. (mid-late 1990s)

    Just the word “relationship” p~~~es me off.
    I refuse to use it.

    WHAT WOMEN (AND COUPLE’S COUNSELLORS) DON’T UNDERSTAND:

    It’s not “A” (singular) relationship.
    Stop calling it that!

    There are TWO relationships going on.

    Her relationship with HIM.
    And his relationship with HER.

    The idea of a (one) “relationship” excludes the second one. His needs and wants are a total non-concern. And that’s why “a” relationship FAILS.

    How to please your man:
    Ask HIM what would please him… and when he answers –>> DO IT.

    There isn’t a single piece of “relationship advice” anywhere that mentions that.

    NOT. ONE.

    As far as “relations~~~t counsellors” (and women) are concerned, it’s “happy wife, happy life”. F~~~ that action. I can’t even count how many times a woman said “I just want to be happy”.. or her parents said “We just want her to be happy”.

    … to which I would respond…

    Well I don’t JUST want HER to be happy.
    Do you f~~~ing mind?

    If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
    #821117
    Spleefer
    Spleefer
    Participant
    790

    couples counseling

    It’s stupid monkey s~~~ and frankly, I don’t believe in it. It’s ALWAYS about emasculating the guy to appease the bitch. ALWAYS. It’s an excuse for some bulls~~~ “relationship expert” to bill someone $200 an hour. And 9/10 times, they are divorced themselves and can’t keep a goddam relationship together.

    If it were up to me …..

    “You need couples counseling? Guess what.You’re with the wrong person. Get her out, or get yourself out. Session is over. And congratulations. I just saved you $200.”

    F~~~ couple’s & marriage counseling.
    It’s 100% pure bulls~~~.

    I know this, because I have had one or three GREAT relationships in the past which ended mostly because of geography, professions or logistics. What made them “great” is that they were EFFORTLESS. One of them was so easy, we barely spoke. I’m serious. Neither of us needed to “try” to make it work™. There was none of that “I need to know where this relationship is going” garbage. That has poisoned the social contract.

    I already know it just doesn’t exist anymore. It was BEFORE the cultural poison of “Sex and the City”, “Friends” and s~~~ like that. THat’s when “couples counseling” started to take off as a profession. (mid-late 1990s)

    Just the word “relationship” p~~~es me off.
    I refuse to use it.

    WHAT WOMEN (AND COUPLE’S COUNSELLORS) DON’T UNDERSTAND:

    It’s not “A” (singular) relationship.
    Stop calling it that!

    There are TWO relationships going on.

    Her relationship with HIM.
    And his relationship with HER.

    The idea of a (one) “relationship” excludes the second one. His needs and wants are a total non-concern. And that’s why “a” relationship FAILS.

    How to please your man:
    Ask HIM what would please him… and when he answers –>> DO IT.

    There isn’t a single piece of “relationship advice” anywhere that mentions that.

    NOT. ONE.

    As far as “relations~~~t counsellors” (and women) are concerned, it’s “happy wife, happy life”. F~~~ that action. I can’t even count how many times a woman said “I just want to be happy”.. or her parents said “We just want her to be happy”.

    … to which I would respond…

    Well I don’t JUST want HER to be happy.
    Do you f~~~ing mind?

    Man, that is all Gold. I have a daughter and I have said that before. I’m never saying it again. I want her to be better than just happy.

    There’s lots for me to re-learn on raising my daughter in this mess. Stuff like that is a start. Thanks for reply.

    Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

    #826895
    +4
    Ronin11
    Ronin11
    Participant
    207

    For my ex and I we went several times to marriage counseling. Same song 15,000,000,000,000 verse. Ex didn’t want to work on anything, all she wanted was someone else to help her beat up on me.
    Once I found out what was going on I realized I did owe marriage counseling a great debt. It showed me I made a huge mistake being married to my ex. It showed we were NOT compatible. We divorced shortly after that. So quickly that the marriage counselor called to ask when were we going to setup our next appointment? I told them we are getting divorced. Dead silence over the phone.

    There are no good women only degrees of bad.

    #836887
    +1
    ForeverDone
    ForeverDone
    Participant
    2918

    The first time I went to couples counseling was when my wife at the time was unhappy and I thought counseling would help us work it out.
    The counselor (male) was normal, nothing to crazy, gave sound advice, techniques, and hope for us to work it out.
    My ex didn’t use any technique, didn’t read any book, didn’t talk to me, didn’t want to work on anything we talked about in the sessions.
    Looking back, that should have been my notice. She gone, don’t waste any mental energy trying to work on the marriage. Counseling worked. It showed it wasn’t my fault, it was her changing her mind and I wasn’t in the picture.

    Second time I did couples counseling was when I went for pre marriage counseling with my fiancé. First session the counselor (female) caught my fiancé in two half truths that I actually heard or picked up on, thanks to the counselor. Lies about meds and lies about her exes. First session. I started my exit after that first session. But like the fist time I tried the techniques and my fiancé did nothing, didn’t do the book, didn’t read anything,didn’t talk to me about anything of meaning.
    Point is: counseling worked for me. Showed their true nature. Women will claim they “work on the relationship “ , they don’t. They claim they want to “communicate” , they don’t. They want you to follow their orders with no lip from you.
    I recently went to counseling on my own to get out of the PUA lifestyle and go monk. It has worked awesome and has been really helpful for me to break my habits of needing women. Yes counseling works. Just not with women.

    Couples counseling is just the last stop before an exit for the marriage. It will just confirm that one (or both) of the spouses just do not care about the marriage any longer. What you are explaining is exactly to a T what I went through. From the male counselor, to the communication, books, exercises, etc.

    You might as well as just bite the bullet and file as it’s just hopeless to save a dead horse. File sooner rather than later in order to stop the clock on assets and support that continue until papers are filed. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I did what was needed to be done. You should do the same if you’ve not done so already. It will not get better anytime soon, it will get much worse, then over time, you will get better and wiser. Just do not do something stupid like get married again.

    #836891
    ForeverDone
    ForeverDone
    Participant
    2918

    couples counseling

    It’s stupid monkey s~~~ and frankly, I don’t believe in it. It’s ALWAYS about emasculating the guy to appease the bitch. ALWAYS. It’s an excuse for some bulls~~~ “relationship expert” to bill someone $200 an hour. And 9/10 times, they are divorced themselves and can’t keep a goddam relationship together.

    If it were up to me …..

    “You need couples counseling? Guess what.You’re with the wrong person. Get her out, or get yourself out. Session is over. And congratulations. I just saved you $200.”

    F~~~ couple’s & marriage counseling.
    It’s 100% pure bulls~~~.

    I know this, because I have had one or three GREAT relationships in the past which ended mostly because of geography, professions or logistics. What made them “great” is that they were EFFORTLESS. One of them was so easy, we barely spoke. I’m serious. Neither of us needed to “try” to make it work™. There was none of that “I need to know where this relationship is going” garbage. That has poisoned the social contract.

    I already know it just doesn’t exist anymore. It was BEFORE the cultural poison of “Sex and the City”, “Friends” and s~~~ like that. THat’s when “couples counseling” started to take off as a profession. (mid-late 1990s)

    Just the word “relationship” p~~~es me off.
    I refuse to use it.

    WHAT WOMEN (AND COUPLE’S COUNSELLORS) DON’T UNDERSTAND:

    It’s not “A” (singular) relationship.
    Stop calling it that!

    There are TWO relationships going on.

    Her relationship with HIM.
    And his relationship with HER.

    The idea of a (one) “relationship” excludes the second one. His needs and wants are a total non-concern. And that’s why “a” relationship FAILS.

    How to please your man:
    Ask HIM what would please him… and when he answers –>> DO IT.

    There isn’t a single piece of “relationship advice” anywhere that mentions that.

    NOT. ONE.

    As far as “relations~~~t counsellors” (and women) are concerned, it’s “happy wife, happy life”. F~~~ that action. I can’t even count how many times a woman said “I just want to be happy”.. or her parents said “We just want her to be happy”.

    … to which I would respond…

    Well I don’t JUST want HER to be happy.
    Do you f~~~ing mind?

    Key lord, ever think of becoming a therapist? Do a Youtube show like Aaron Clarey or Rich Cooper and you’d have buckets of money coming in.

    Funny you say ask what he wants and do it. Ask what she wants and it’s either I don’t know or a laundry list of nonsensical demands which have nothing to do with the relationship.

    #852812
    +3
    AgitoM
    AgitoM
    Participant
    98

    Couples Counseling, it will be a cold day in hell if I ever end up there.

    As some other guys stated, I also always viewed it as an attempt by a woman to get support in emasculating a man.

    Few stories from my experience:
    A long time ago, my whole family was defying my mum on a regular basis. Argued back at her, ignored her orders.
    At a loss, she decided we should all go to family counseling. Told her outright I would not cooperate, that I knew that family counseling was just and attempt on her part to get a third party to tell us we should all obey her. That if any demands were placed on her, she would almost immediately back out. Moreover, if she would force me to attend, I would basically mention on her dirty linens during the session. In short, family counseling never happend.

    Quite a few years after that, my dad grew tired of being bitched around. Fortunately for my mother, she got the name of a good couples counselor. He was the counselor of a recently divorced female friend who financially and emotionally destroyed her husband recently (with the help of said counselor). Moreover the lady couldn’t stop boasting about it. Guess my mother felt she found a even better ally in getting my father under her control. Don’t know exactly how it happend, but she ended up being pulled through the wringer by the counselor herself.

    Never saw couples counseling in particular as a desperate means for control. The guy who opened this topic got lucky. He had a neutral counselor and had the wits to use it against his partners. In line with social norms though, most counselors will quickly side with the woman the moment she start playing victim. Hence as a guy you better stay clear from it all together.

    #853093
    +3
    Ronin11
    Ronin11
    Participant
    207

    Well think about it what Minister, counselor, mediator, Dear Abbey, Ann Landers, or any kind of person who gives advice is going to go against women. Trust me if you do ask ministers why is the divorce rate so high, and you can get them to answer honestly, it’s because women give up quicker. Further women give up for the most irrational of reasons. So no counselor of any kind will ever go on record saying that women give up quicker. Again outside of this forum you will never hear of the bad women do.

    There are no good women only degrees of bad.

    #872412
    +1
    DanceMyOwnWay
    DanceMyOwnWay
    Participant
    1897

    couples counseling

    It’s stupid monkey s~~~ and frankly, I don’t believe in it. It’s ALWAYS about emasculating the guy to appease the bitch. ALWAYS. It’s an excuse for some bulls~~~ “relationship expert” to bill someone $200 an hour. And 9/10 times, they are divorced themselves and can’t keep a goddam relationship together.
    If it were up to me …..
    “You need couples counseling? Guess what.You’re with the wrong person. Get her out, or get yourself out. Session is over. And congratulations. I just saved you $200.”
    F~~~ couple’s & marriage counseling.It’s 100% pure bulls~~~.
    I know this, because I have had one or three GREAT relationships in the past which ended mostly because of geography, professions or logistics. What made them “great” is that they were EFFORTLESS. One of them was so easy, we barely spoke. I’m serious. Neither of us needed to “try” to make it work™. There was none of that “I need to know where this relationship is going” garbage. That has poisoned the social contract.
    I already know it just doesn’t exist anymore. It was BEFORE the cultural poison of “Sex and the City”, “Friends” and s~~~ like that. THat’s when “couples counseling” started to take off as a profession. (mid-late 1990s)
    Just the word “relationship” p~~~es me off.I refuse to use it.
    WHAT WOMEN (AND COUPLE’S COUNSELLORS) DON’T UNDERSTAND:
    It’s not “A” (singular) relationship.Stop calling it that!
    There are TWO relationships going on.
    Her relationship with HIM.And his relationship with HER.
    The idea of a (one) “relationship” excludes the second one. His needs and wants are a total non-concern. And that’s why “a” relationship FAILS.
    How to please your man:Ask HIM what would please him… and when he answers –>> DO IT.
    There isn’t a single piece of “relationship advice” anywhere that mentions that.
    NOT. ONE.

    As far as “relations~~~t counsellors” (and women) are concerned, it’s “happy wife, happy life”. F~~~ that action. I can’t even count how many times a woman said “I just want to be happy”.. or her parents said “We just want her to be happy”.
    … to which I would respond…
    Well I don’t JUST want HER to be happy.Do you f~~~ing mind?

    You had three great relationships and still went MGTOW KM. Says alot doesn’t it. I think I’ve had maybe two good ones in gosh 23 years?
    I had an ex slut suggest we went for couples counselling and we weren’t even living together or married and her behaviour was completely the problem. Counselling itself as a way of working through say trauma or dysfunctional s~~~ can be super helpful. Make sure it’s a guy thougb.

    If you fall down 7 times, get up 8

    #906543
    +4
    Sky-O
    Sky-O
    Participant
    18034

    Marriage counseling:

    During my blue pill era, I was banging a married chick that had not got caught cheating with me. Her husband had caught her having multiple affairs prior and they were going to counseling. At one point, twice a week. With him of course paying for it all.

    Anyway. Regarding the effectiveness of marriage counseling:

    She was coming over to my house after counseling for f~~~ sessions and to complain about her husband and how stupid the counseling sessions were.

    So, in that case and numerous others, I suspect that counseling is just another way for a woman to manipulate the situation, continue to mind-fck her husband and run a smoke & mirrors distraction tactic around her marriage.

    #911813
    +1
    CPT Obvious
    CPT Obvious
    Participant
    1759

    I went to counseling with ex-1 and ex-2. With the first, the counselor was awful. No help to either of us, and we agreed to stop going after a couple sessions.

    With ex-2, the counselor was excellent —- very helpful, insightful and fair. He actually helped the relationship.

    However, it revealed points where she was not willing to change — i.e. money issues and her ridiculous spending. Her money was hers and my money was hers.

    It actually helped me realize she just wanted a sugar daddy and was going to spend me into oblivion. Turned out to be a big factor in my breaking things off.

    Agreed that going to counseling marks the beginning of the end.

    "You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."
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