Need dating advice (gay and bf rasing red flags)

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Riron

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This topic contains 17 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by Rhino  Rhino 3 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #457618
    +1
    Riron
    riron
    Participant
    80

    If you’re wondering how I’m both gay and mgtow, it’s that I became mgtow first and luckily I had a very fluid sexuality so I basically chose to be gay.

    Anyways:
    I’m trying to start my own business, and also living a minimalist lifestyle. It goes together quite well, since when you’re first starting a business it’s pretty much all work no pay. Hate corporate america, since unlike small business there’s all this affirmative action and economics dictates that I’ll be subsidizing female co-workers.
    Even knowing my intentions, my boyfriend wants me to get a house and a corporate job (engineering student, so if I went down that route, I could bring in quite a bit of money).

    If he were a woman, that would be a big red flag and insta-breakup (i.e. let go of your dreams so you can work your ass off in a wage slave job and buy stuff for me.) but
    1) he’s a guy
    2) I play the girl’s role, so if I’d think that if anyone was AWALT it’d be me

    But I’m starting to get worried. Also I’m currently taking on majority of expenses related to the relationship, partly because he’s broke. It’s a LDR so this relationship not consuming money isn’t an option.

    Advice on what to do? Options that I can think of are:
    -continue relationship as normal but don’t progress to co-habitation or any big financial commitments, don’t make big financial decisions on basis of relationship
    -above, but only feed at most 1/2 of the money in to dating, even if it causes the relationship to go sour. make up some excuse about realizing that I don’t have as much money as I thought, and essentially make a soft ultimatum or something.
    -above, but feed absolute minimum of money in. But then contact will probably dwindle to nothing, at which point it might as well be the last item:
    -maybe I should just read the signs and break up T.T

    [edit: typo, used wrong N/AWALT word]

    (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

    #457620
    +2
    Blade
    blade
    Participant

    THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

    #457622
    +2

    Anonymous
    2

    I’m not really the best person to advise as I’m fairly inexperienced and I’ve only had two jobs, and I also know nothing about gay men.

    All I will say is that it sounds like settling for the steady job route is what he wants you to do, not because he wants the best for you but because it will be convenient and safe for you both. It also sounds like it’s not what you actually want to do.

    I’ll also add that I’m jealous. I’m a software dev and I wish I could start my own business! I’ve got the money to get going but I’m not sure what I would do yet. I think it would be foolish to pass up the business opportunity – especially since it sounds like you’re fairly young and can always go back to the safer option later if you have to.

    I’d say talk it over with the guy – REALLY talk and see where you both stand. I suppose it’s all about women here on MGTOW but maybe us men can be just as bad!

    #457628
    +7

    Anonymous
    43

    Long distance relationships, rarely if ever work out.

    At some point one of you has to commit and move to be with the other.

    So, what do you want?

    From what you’ve written, it sounds like you’re not 100% committed anyway.

    Also, you want to follow your dream, the own business route, and I think you need to give that your ALL.

    Also, he’s broke, so he has nothing to lose in all of this.
    You DO though.

    What to do?

    Well, if you have to ask…I guess you already KNOW.

    #457642
    +3
    Riron
    riron
    Participant
    80

    Well, if you have to ask…I guess you already KNOW.

    Wisdom I suppose. I also suppose it would be a bad idea to drag it out to stop wasting either of our time. Thanks.

    I’ll also add that I’m jealous. I’m a software dev and I wish I could start my own business! I’ve got the money to get going but I’m not sure what I would do yet.

    I’m still in the “I’m not sure I can even get a living wage out of this yet” stage, so don’t be jealous. Although if you want some help, it’s pretty much this:
    1) create a company called YOUR_NAME_LLC ($200 registration fee)
    2) website + business card ($100, since you can do this yourself)
    3) call up executives in companies you think will need this, ideally in person during networking events and stuff. Do first couple jobs for free to build your portfolio, then ratchet it up. Also try to do fixed-bid “turnkey” solutions as much as possible, the less your client knows or needs to know about your solution the more they’ll be willing to pay.

    (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

    #457647
    +3
    Covert 84
    Covert 84
    Participant
    1708

    Be yourself!

    "Society is to blame" Denton

    #457652
    +3
    Blade
    blade
    Participant

    If your the woman of the relationship why is he been the arsehole .

    If i was you i would get rid of the PRICK . Don’t let him poke around in your life anymore . YOU need to have the b~~~~ and f~~~ him of instead of sucking him of .

    He is just using you

    THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

    #457674
    +2

    Anonymous
    44

    If you’re wondering how I’m both gay and mgtow, it’s that I became mgtow first and luckily I had a very fluid sexuality so I basically chose to be gay.

    Anyways:
    I’m trying to start my own business, and also living a minimalist lifestyle. It goes together quite well,
    (…)
    -maybe I should just read the signs and break up T.T

    [edit: typo, used wrong N/AWALT word]

    Hmm.
    This is a somewhat unorthodox setup and question.
    How about we ignore the Boy/Girl setup and the Gay factor?

    Then it becomes a ridiculous setup:
    You get some proper Flak because You make not enough cash to hand over so someone who presumably does nothing.
    And a House so he can wipe his dick on your curtains after jacking off (after doing nothing.)
    You pay for a life of a person you do not see, while you are aware that you will need avery cent to sustain yourself, get better at what you do in order to build a future.

    You do not play the Girl’s role, even though you pretend to think like a pussy.
    You think rationally, and base your decisions on sound reflection.
    Your Biology overrides your social position it seems.
    You clearly think like a male.
    Act on your best interests.

    no matter how you turn it, you are (th)a man.
    If i may say that 😀

    #457695
    +1
    Awakened
    Awakened
    Participant
    36381

    Relationships are temporary, like everything else in this world !!

    Your “arrangement” is only holding you back now, and will probably only continue to as you want your life to progress on a different path then your partner envisions for YOU.

    Since your paths HAVE diverged, probably best for you BOTH to move on in your different directions instead of trying to FORCE it work.

    In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

    #457759
    +2
    TG
    TG
    Participant

    My first thought once I saw that this is a long distance relationship: I wonder how many other guys he’s getting money from? How do you KNOW you are the only one he’s trading his attention with for cash and prizes?

    That said, DO YOU. You only get one shot at life, so do it on your terms. If he doesn’t like it, then kick him to the curb. More important than the people in your life are the people you DON’T allow in your life. He sounds like he’s trying to hold you back. He’s dead weight, negative energy. The sooner you get rid of that parasite the better you’ll feel.

    Good luck bro.

    Order the good wine

    #457897
    +2
    Narwhal
    narwhal
    Participant

    Eh, you’re relationship to this guy is irrelevant. Someone is asking you to take a job that you don’t want in order to fund their lifestyle, when you have made no commitment to do so.

    The answer is no.

    Ok. Then do it.

    #457922
    +2
    FrostByte
    FrostByte
    Participant
    19089

    Eh, you’re relationship to this guy is irrelevant. Someone is asking you to take a job that you don’t want in order to fund their lifestyle, when you have made no commitment to do so.

    The answer is no.

    I’m just repeating what Narwal said so you can hear it twice.
    The boundaries you set should apply to everyone regardless of gender. Don’t let woman, other men or family take advantage of you.
    No is no – say no.

    If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

    #458123
    +2

    Anonymous
    15

    Follow your dreams. I don’t know about gay things but if someone wants you to do something you do not want yourself, then it is a huge red flag, whatever the gender of that other human is.

    #458147
    +1
    Riron
    riron
    Participant
    80

    Thanks guys. I suppose the only thing left is execution…

    (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

    #458154
    +1
    MGTOW Knight
    MGTOW Knight
    Participant
    7491

    Go MGTOW bro. Your own way bro. You can give me a celebratory ass smack for the advise. No homo, of course. XD

    Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically

    #458543
    +2

    Anonymous
    8

    Even gay dating is sucks now, since many gays feel ‘at home’ with feminism and the need to be acknowledged just because they’re gay, not because of things they do in the name of betterment of themselves and society.

    #459379
    +1
    Grumpy
    Grumpy
    Participant

    There are only 2 types of relationships
    Symbiotic or Parasitic.
    There are varying degrees of both, you just have to choose which one you prefer and are willing to be the host of.

    Follow your dreams. I don’t know about gay things but if someone wants you to do something you do not want yourself, then it is a huge red flag, whatever the gender of that other human is.

    Just to say it again

    There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

    #459525
    Rhino
    Rhino
    Participant
    3495

    You guys gave him really great advice I am so glad to call you all my brothers there is nothing I could add that was already said. Well maybe one thing…

    Just substitute women for your boyfriend and you will get the picture same thing.

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