The moment I knew that my marriage was complete unsalvageable

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Home Forums Marriage & Divorce The moment I knew that my marriage was complete unsalvageable

This topic contains 10 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by Hdvrod  hdvrod 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #879953
    +10
    RealityBites
    RealityBites
    Participant
    2047

    A long time ago when I was married…..my wife had relentlessly worked on isolating and demeaning me and tearing me down…
    The Gas Lighting was non-stop….every time I tried to have a conversation with her to work through things, there was zero admission and accountability on her part.
    Finally it got to the point where she suggested that we see a marriage counselor. And I was thinking…well…maybe in front of a professional counselor she would be honest and forthright because she was never such in front of me in private.
    So we went to see the counselor….she had me go first…so I talked about things I did wrong…then it was her turn…and what did she do?
    She talked about things I did wrong and no mention of the things she did wrong. I knew right then and there that not only the counseling was a waste of time, but the entire marriage.
    It was over. I cut short the meeting with the counselor, we drove home, I didn’t say a word…and I started to move my things into another room when we got home.
    I stopped arguing or having any type of conversation other than keeping things very short and minimal, when she would start something I would just walk away.

    I started to make copies of all financial records, and started to plan my exit: 6 months later we were in a lawyer’s office filling out paperwork for a divorce, we had already written down a mutually agreed upon out of court settlement and the lawyer went through it, typed it up and made sure it was legally binding.

    #879957
    +7
    Gerald
    Gerald
    Participant
    3269

    I knew mine was over when her boyfriend came to stay in town… but I didnt believe it and continued the sham for 3 more years till she passed. Even up to the end I hoped it could be salvaged. The blue pill is a bitter one friends, thank you all for showing me the light

    No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

    #879959
    +7

    Anonymous
    11

    I stopped arguing or having any type of conversation other than keeping things very short and minimal, when she would start something I would just walk away.

    This take far more restraint and clarity of mind than most married men addicted to pussy like to believe.

    Nothing turns a wife into a cum gobbling whore if her husband is done with her but she hasn’t put all her cards right. She is back on her knees to bid for more time and most suckers turn out to be men.

    I have zero sympathy for simps who ignore red flags after one too many close calls.

    I bet you are a million times happier as a MGTOW than a married man.

    #879982
    +3
    NoMore
    NoMore
    Participant
    1228

    RealityBites, I know the situation. I spent years being gaslit and feeling like I was the problem. We did the same with a marriage counselor. It was strange hearing from our counselor that I was not wrong and she had serious issues. It progressed over a year and a half towards our divorce.

    After talking with colleagues and family, I realized I had to protect myself legally and financially. The s~~~ storm started, despite my best efforts, and the family court took its pound of flesh. I’m left working my ass off to subsidize her new house and lifestyle while she is allowed to move out of state and I have every other weekend with our kid.

    A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

    #879987
    +3
    Carnage
    Carnage
    Participant
    22082

    The important thing is : IT IS OVER

    IM FREEEEEEEE, but im glad it happened, i didnt knew i was in the plantation, now i know, now i see, im free of guilt, shame, obligations, humilliation, responsability, preocupation, i dont give a crap about suciety, f~~~ture, envirocrap or anything.

    Freedom la la la freedom, follow meeeee.

    To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

    #879991
    +3
    Awakened
    Awakened
    Participant
    32164

    I knew my marriage was over AFTER trying to save it one too many times.

    Technically and legally I’m still married, but emotionally WE have been divorced for years, and now it’s just a matter of time leading up to the actual divorce raping.

    At least there won’t be any children to fight over or raw emotions to work through, but none of that is the point.

    The point is that at least for me, there wasn’t just ONE defining moment, but MANY moments along the way that were all exposing the TRUTH, but my Blue Pill programming kept telling me that it was “normal” for marriage to be “challenging”, and it was “normal” for her to be transforming into a Lazy, Sexless, Useless, Bitching Horrible Wife and Mother.

    See, the “problem” was with ME. If only I could do a little more here, and be more understanding there, and more emotionally responsive there BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH……

    Eventually, you just realize that IT’S NOT YOU, and you basically say F~~~ YOU. I’m OUT–YOU DO what YOU HAVE TO DO and I SHALL DO THE SAME….The Joys of relationships, and it’s just F~~~ing Amazing WHY any Divorced Man goes back to try it again for round 2 never mind round 22 or 222 or WHATEVER ….

    In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

    #879995
    +4
    Tic
    Tic
    Participant
    4181

    Interesting how all our stories are similar.

    Once relationship counseling is involved, it s time to call it quits. And let me be f~~~ing bold to say this:

    When she mentions that you should be going to counseling it means several things:

    1. She is already done with the relationship and needs another women, which most counselors are, to validate her decision based on all the many ways that you, the man, have failed in this relationship

    2. Invariably, they already have another man in the picture who they are f~~~ing. Remember, women don’t end relationships unless they have another guy waiting in the wings. If she utters utter words “counseling”, it should immediately raise red flags.

    3. Counselor will be a woman because in her mind, a woman will most likely aide with her. If the counselor attempts to hold her accountable for any of her behavior, she will cease to want to go to counseling anymore and call the counselor inept and declare that she doesn’t like the counselor for some bulls~~~ reason.

    For any lurkers who are reading this and you are about to start counseling or have already engaged in some kind of counseling sessions, know that it’s over. Start planning.

    Counseling is a crock of s~~~. It never works. And in my experience, counselors themselves are troubled people. They are in that profession because they are scarred themselves

    God bless peace and freedom.

    #880008
    +3

    Anonymous
    23

    You failed the s~~~ test bro, I’m sorry to say. The response should have been shut the f~~~ up you gaslighting bitch. Said with all the threat and implication of violence in the same way you’d treat a man f~~~ing with you. Probably would have saved the marriage.

    But anyway, even though she would have behaved better you’d lose all respect and love for her, so you did the right thing ultimately by leaving her.

    My ex wife and I went to ‘sex therapy’. The women was actually pretty red pilled and I could sense she knew the truth but couldn’t say it, that my ex basically was not turning me on. She was about as sensual as a lump of lard.

    Saw her a few years on and she hinted at a reconciliation, that she was now ‘experienced’ with a wink, I’ve never felt so repulsed.

    #880096
    +1
    RealityBites
    RealityBites
    Participant
    2047

    ed the s~~~ test bro, I’m sorry to say. The response should have been shut the f~~~ up you gaslighting bitch. Said with all the threat and implication of violence in the same way you’d treat a man f~~~ing with you. Probably would have saved the marriage.

    But anyway, even though she would have behaved better you’d lose all respect and love for her, so you did the right thing ultimately by leaving her.

    My ex wife and I went to ‘sex therapy’. The women was actually pretty red pilled and I could sense she knew the truth but couldn’t say it, that my ex basically was not turning me on. She was about as sensual as a lump of lard.

    Saw her a few years on and she hinted at a reconciliation, that she was now ‘experienc

    Perhaps so…but then I had lost any desire to continue with the marriage. For years: I had felt like I was married to a scam artist and that the whole thing was a sham…
    So in my mind: the idea of a s~~~ test didn’t enter because there was nothing to be gained.
    The marriage counselor was her idea…and maybe it was her way to to push it onto me to ask for a divorce and use it as an excuse…I just didn’t give a f~~~ anymore: it was the final straw for me; I couldn’t be married to someone who was that dishonest and underhanded any longer. I realized that no matter what I did that marriage was unsalvageable.

    While I didn’t have a good marriage; I did have a beautiful divorce.

    #881558
    +1
    Eyeswideopen
    Eyeswideopen
    Participant
    2928

    I knew it was over when I came home from work unexpectedly and a nice truck was in the driveway that was not mine. Lol
    Then being gaslight that it was all my fault because I treated her too well!
    Never again.

    - Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

    #881775
    Hdvrod
    hdvrod
    Participant
    1109

    Interesting how all our stories are similar.
    Once relationship counseling is involved, it s time to call it quits. And let me be f~~~ing bold to say this:
    When she mentions that you should be going to counseling it means several things:
    1. She is already done with the relationship and needs another women, which most counselors are, to validate her decision based on all the many ways that you, the man, have failed in this relationship
    2. Invariably, they already have another man in the picture who they are f~~~ing. Remember, women don’t end relationships unless they have another guy waiting in the wings. If she utters utter words “counseling”, it should immediately raise red flags.
    3. Counselor will be a woman because in her mind, a woman will most likely aide with her. If the counselor attempts to hold her accountable for any of her behavior, she will cease to want to go to counseling anymore and call the counselor inept and declare that she doesn’t like the counselor for some bulls~~~ reason.
    For any lurkers who are reading this and you are about to start counseling or have already engaged in some kind of counseling sessions, know that it’s over. Start planning.
    Counseling is a crock of s~~~. It never works. And in my experience, counselors themselves are troubled people. They are in that profession because they are scarred themselves

    I can attest to every word in the above comment. It happened exactly like this for me, down to the last detail.

    This is an absolute true and clarifying summary of the value of counseling, and the aftermath of it.

    Anyway communication, real open communication, is not wanted or even required in a relationship. Women cannot handle fully open and honest communication, plus most perceive it as a weakness on the part of a man. All that is required is catering to her whims, and even then nothing is certain. There is no way to be sure of having a successful relationshit with a woman. MGTaoist

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