What to do when your kids tell you they don't want a relationship with you

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This topic contains 44 replies, has 31 voices, and was last updated by Wraith  Wraith 3 months ago.

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    The thing is we all have these stories. I am still alive but I suppose how much is debatable. Finished my last second divorce about 5 years ago. Been through a few relationships since then. It was an eye opening to come to understand people I had supported and loved hated me and wanted to destroy me. Sucks. Had my last girlfriend move out last Friday. Had another on the wings. Sort of broke up with her today. Having taken the red pill I now understand how things really are. Makes it easier to navigate but still sucks. There is no female honesty, loyalty, or caring about a man. Seeking validation and approval is the most insidious of traps. It has been a game all along. So, now I just hope to be able to see their world tumble down as they get older and lonelier. I am 63 and date from about 45 to 57. I have heard the same bulls~~~ from I do not even know how many of these bitches. I sense some fear on their part. They know they are in trouble and need rescuing and are desperately seeking their white knight. The last one even printed up and clear coated a picture of me and her with me as a prince and her a damsel in distress. Banged the hell out of it. Started going of the rails when she started talking marriage. They are all broke. They are all in credit card debt. They all owe more than they make in a year and have nothing to show for it. The wall and the Fempocalypse is coming and they can feel it and are trying to use their last Sexual Market Value to get a rescue. I have as much sympathy and kindness for women as they do for men. Zero. Next. Sorry to hear of your troubles. You life must start over because the one you had is over except for the bonded servitude of alimony calculated by way of common progeny. Child support my ass. Hang in there. Revenge is not everything but it is something.


    In my case I could put myself in my kids shoes and so I did not ask them to choose between me their father and the bitch that was their mother….as no child is going to want to reject their mother unless she is totally over the top with them.

    It took my eldest son accidentally stumbling across his mother’s secret bank accounts that she failed to declare during the second property settlement for him to put two and two together and start asking questions….. Of course he had been feed lots of lies about me not paying child support and not wanting to see them…. So when he sort me out and asked questions which I was more than happy to prove with pay dockets etc showing child support payments etc he then realized his mother was not such a nice person, it took a few years and I missed a lot of my children’s lives but as a male your beating your head against a wall if you try fighting it….. Pull back and let them come to you when they are ready….

    Even now I never inquire into their mother’s business and I thing the children have become quite good at not answering her questions about me….. That is after I took out an intervention order against the bitch and the children are all left grown up!

    Good luck with your children, and if you can regroup rather than continue a loosing battle.


    from what i have seen and experienced, people in general, especially children (aka “inexperienced people”) are ungrateful wretches. throw some lies into that crockpot that are one-sided and you will end up searching for something that is not realistic. if i am you, i drop the kids in my mind and move on with my life. just because your DNA is walking and talking does not mean it loves you. people say that your child is blah blah BUT…it is NOT your child. you cannot own a person. they are not your kids. they have your DNA made with someone else’s and that is it. every person is an individual and you expecting love or anything back from someone else is being naive. no one owes anyone anything in this world, especially young adolescents to late teens to even those in their 20s who think they either know it all or want it all (namely your cash).


    It happened to me. My first wife made sure our daughter wanted nothing to do with me and I haven’t seen or spoken to her in 10 years. At this point, we probably won’t have future contact.

    Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking! -- William Butler Yeats


    I’m so sorry to hear about what all of you have been through.

    My mother didn’t need a divorce to commit parental alienation. She did that in the house my father provided as he drove in brutal rush-hour traffic to his technician job, worked long hours, and sometimes had to go back to work at all hours of the night and weekends to remedy an equipment outage.

    My parents split up just after I turned 18, so thankfully custody of me wasn’t an issue. A few days after my mother was caught cheating and immediately left to move in with the lowlife, my father came to see me at my retail job. I wasn’t expecting him (I think it was the first time he had ever been in the store), and he said he’d be on the bench outside the store when I had a minute to talk. It was the first time I told my boss, rather than asking, that I’d be back in a few minutes. When I walked out of the store and saw my father sitting on the bench, he looked devastated. He had always had good physical composure, so seeing him there hunched over in some of his worst clothes really startled me. He said he wanted to get dinner. My shift was nearly over, so afterwards we went to a nice restaurant. He told me about the circumstances my mother had gotten herself into by the time he met her, and it pulled me out of my naive son’s view of who she was. Suddenly, all of her mind-boggling tendencies fell into place. I realized what a dysfunctional, toxic mess she was. He didn’t say any of this to trash her or to position himself as the parent I’d side with. He saw that she was fast reverting to those toxic behaviors from all those years ago and had no compunction about taking my sister and me into that cesspit with her. He wanted me to have the information I’d need to protect myself and make the right decisions. Some people would bristle at a father compromising the mother’s sainthood like that, but he said just the right things. He didn’t discourage me from having contact with her. On the contrary, I probably would have gotten quite the lecture if I severed the relationship. I maintained a relationship with both of my parents, but stopped seeing my father as the bad guy she made him out to be over the years. I also understood who she was. The couple of years after their separation was still rocky, but I got through it much better because of my father’s wise words. I’m sure he took no pleasure in that talk, but he stepped up admirably as usual.

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