An excellent topic from Howard Dare on just being a man in the workplace, and what you can expect if you’re free-thinking, self-actualized, self-assured and confident man in your everyday work life. Ask women anywhere, and you will hear the #1 thing woman are attracted to is CONFIDENCE. But is it really?
Just BE confident around women and watch what happens. You may even be told to “check your privilege” but they aren’t even confident enough to say it to your face. Just a simple “no” from a man is often regarded as arrogance, but isn’t it more arrogant to expect a “yes” in the first place?
You’re not required to do whatever someone expects you to do. At work, you’re only required to do what you are PAID and contracted to do, only IF you agree to do it for the money, and IF you decided they are paying you enough. Else, they should expect the answer to be “no”. This attitude alone is considered abrasive, defiant and can get you into trouble. So can simply maintaining your own dignity, integrity and other male values that will be exploited if you allow it.“I do not speak to women at work about anything other than work”.
Consider making that your professional policy, internalize it and you won’t get dinged. You can never go wrong with it, and if you are ever confronted about an interaction with a female which displeased her, you can bring up directly and say it out loud. Even if she asks an “innocent” question about how you spent your weekend, reminding yourself “I do not speak to women at work about anything other than work” gives them nothing to nail you with.
You can tell the HR department “This is a place of business, and it is my professional policy to never speak to women at work about anything other than work. Do you have a problem with that? Because if you have any problem with that, then you are being UNPROFESSIONAL.”.
You don’t need to be defiant, abrasive, overbearing, combative, challenging, or dominant. You can just be a man who insists on being strictly professional, and there are invisible forces who would rather you weren’t.
Listen extra closely at 10:00 mark on being tested, and hated for doing good work.