How Not To Be A Simp

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American actress January Jones of MADMEN fame has this message for you:

“Women are a superior species to men. Men are there to serve women. Women are allowed to feel up and down because they are like the moon and go through different phases. Men should act like the sun, shine strong 24/7/365 and serve women instead of acting like little bitches with vaginas”.

Little bitches with vaginas.

Little. Bitches. With. Vaginas.

Looks aren’t everything, you know. Just by looking, you may never guess this otherwise lovely creature could be such a hardcore misogynist and to 7,700+ twitter followers. After all, she is a woman herself, and therefore – by her own standards – that makes her a “little bitch with a vagina”.

Forget the clerical error in thinking women are a “species” on their own. We could probably argue that, but science, biology and facts always trump the personal opinion, and men and women are all of the same species: human. A first grade education can teach you that, providing the teacher is male. Even a feminist will lie to your face and pretend she thinks we’re equal.

But in reality, men are believed to be sub-human by this “superior species”. Of course, when I was 12, the girl who lived across the street also thought cats laid eggs…. so you have to forgive the females of the species for not knowing the basics.

As a hu-Man, if I were ever asked for my personal opinion on who I thought the most beautiful woman in Hollywood is, January Jones would have easily been in the top five. Her manner, tone, and femininity was absolutely radiant – back in 2004. The mentality, however, is as repugnant as Snookie’s. One tweet and the entire illusion is shattered – worse than what she could possibly look like on the worst morning of her life.

As outwardly desirable as she once was, if you were on a date with her, and she made the above statement, and you spent another minute associating with her, you would qualify as a “simp”.

Multiply it by a factor of 10 if you show her any respect or courtesies, because she does not have respect for herself. She has lowered her opinion herself (and women everywhere) to such self-loathing unfathomable depths, any hope of salvaging that wreck would be like righting the Costa Condordia.

Interesting metaphor, that. Likening women to moon phases. When you listen, women reveal themselves as certain as the moon reveals itself. The dark side is never visible either and virtually unexplored by Man.

A simp – hazed by his own orgasm and addiction to women – would dismiss what she said entirely. He may even call the waiter over and have him refill her glass for saying something that appeared to be profound. After all, you – and he – exist to SERVE her. The waiter to fill her glass, and you to encourage and pay for it. How nice. Refuse, and in her mind, you become a little bitch with a vagina too. But which is more damaging to you: Allowing her to continue thinking of herself that way? Or letting her think of you that way.

Why would any self-respecting man ever “serve” a creature who thinks so low of herself? What kind of worms does she think men are? Do her male co-stars know? Does the father of her own child know? He did, after all, serve up his sperm to impregnate her on demand, and she refuses to name the father because “it’s not the public’s business”. OK. That’s reasonable. It is, however, the public business to know men exist to serve women. Is everyone paying attention?

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday baby Xander. You’re the inferior species too.

It’s about time men who exist to “serve women” realize the gravity of that:
You mean less to women than the gum under her shoe, whether you serve her – or not.


A man should pay for ME.
I need a big strong man to open this for ME.
A real man would never say that to ME.
I expect a man to approach ME and ask ME out.
A man holds the door open for ME.
A man should pull the chair out for ME.
I am ready to get married now. Where is he?
Be a man and hang that picture for ME.
A real man would fight for ME.
What have you done for ME lately.
LADIES first.
Use your muscles and open this for ME.
A man is supposed to protect ME. (which rhymes with “open admission of inferiority”)
He should kneel down and ask ME.
A real man gives up his seat for ME.
I love having a man around the house.
I expect a man to propose to ME.
If you like it then you’d better put a ring on   ME   IT.
A real man would take off his jacket and offer it to ME.
A man is supposed to …
____ (insert female demand here) ___.

You have heard them all. No matter were you are in the civilization almost entirely built and created by Men, before your 18th birthday when you can legally make up your own mind, you have heard them all. It isn’t just January Jones who thinks so little of you.

So, is a man a little bitch with a vagina when he caves to that nonsense? Or are you a little bitch with a vagina if you don’t cave. Either way, January Jones thinks you’re less than a little bitch with a vagina.

She has still not realized women cannot take a dignified shit in this world unless Men installed the toilet, running water, stocked the shelves with toilet paper, and harnessed electricity so she wouldn’t have to wipe her crack with her own hands in the dark… after squatting over a hole she had to dig for herself.

Now you know where “women are a superior species” comes from. A thoughtless twit. You have been socially conditioned by such thoughtless twits since the crib, and force-fed the lie that “women are a superior species”. Now, all any man needs to do is wake up to it, and he will ask himself:

Did Man really create the dishwasher and microwave to “serve women” – or himself?
A woman doesn’t ask herself these questions. Because you exist to “serve” her.
… but only until you decide you don’t anymore.

You can’t fall off the floor, Man.

*feature video by JohnTheOther. Subscribe to him on YouTube.

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