She a Twitter Chick

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An homage to the Twitter Chick. You know the type. Checks her status before brushing her teeth. Can’t carry a conversation for more than 15 seconds, and likely doesn’t even know what a human interaction is. Maintaining eye contact? PFFT, forget it. She’s useless at that too. Her mobile is an IV drip of attention.

Women should not be allowed to have a mobile phone. They don’t use their mobile devices to get a job done, they use it to try and *look busy*. Like the morphine drip you get at the hospital, when you need a dose of morphine, you hit the button. When a woman needs a dose of attention, she whips out her iPhone during dinner like it’s totally acceptable.

It’s not acceptable. It’s rude. Dump that bitch like an anchor.
Lest she continues behaving like a thoughtless, inconsiderate pig.

Men use our handheld devices for business, useful tasks, emailing and such, and finding restaurants, driving directions, and other relevant information. And sometimes, we will use them to show all our drunk friends a picture of an awesome set of hooters that some chick just texted.

Texting was invented by Men for thoughtful courtesies like: “Parking. Be there in 5 mins”… or emergencies, like:“Car exploded. Send help.”. Not to tweet photos of a Starbucks cup. What a goddam insult to (and waste of) the marvel that is male-invented technology. The only thing a Twitter Chick created is a hashtag.

Women can’t deny attention — no matter what kind of attention it is, no matter how married they are, and no matter what time it is. If it’s three in the fucking morning, a woman wants to know that someone is trying to sell her Viagra. If it’s in the middle of a conversation, a woman wants to know who else wants to have a conversation with her.

Every time her Samsung Galaxy vibrates, she’ll jump like she’s got an electric collar. That’s because women are addicted to attention. Have you ever seen a dog with an invisible fence electric collar? A dog will hear the beeping and just about shit himself. It’s the same reaction a woman has when her mobile starts going off.

Mobile devices are like Dumbo’s magic feather. Except instead of flying, it permits her to behave like a rude bitch without even being aware of it. So if you’re ever engaged in any kind of social or human interaction with a woman, and she even glances at her phone, turn your back on her and remove yourself without a word. If she does it during her own wedding, thank your personal god the groom isn’t you.

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