Just in time for Christmas, the sex that likes to pretend they are independent and “don’t need a man” are so desperate to have a man around, they are buying positive pregnancy tests to try and rope you in for the holidays. When a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle water, she searches for a last-minute gift on craigslist, and finds pregnant women selling their positive test strips.
In an attempt to re-create her own nativity scene sans infant, and for a mere $20 plus shipping, a stork drone will deliver you into her loving arms out of some sick immaculate conception. It’s the thought that counts.
How do other pregnant women know there’s a market for such a thing? Great question. They are women, and know each other’s slippery methods. The one who told her man “Oops!” after lying about being on birth control will now sell the results of her test for profit – aiding and abetting more fraud. Ruining her own personal life was not enough for her. Every girl who places such an ad will want to ruin yours too.
You know the song: “If you like it, then you better put a ring on it”.
And if you don’t like it, she will fake a pregnancy and Ho-Ho-Hope for the best.
It’s a dark time for women when they’ve lost the ability to inspire a man want to be with them. So if you heard “I’m pregnant” and think you should stick it out until January 2nd just to be a “gentleman”, or if your’e hanging around “for the baby”….. then ’tis the season to re-evaluate, and charge her with a felony.